Starting

At 41, staring things is hard. After a half-life of building skills and experience, starting cold turkey makes me long for things I’m better at, things I at least have a foundation. You haven’t yet gotten over that first hump, the instant gratification isn’t there and you’re just battling against what you are used to, your comfort and what is known.

It starts as a grind.

I recall the first time I really started running, or jogging really, to try and find a way to stay in shape after a year of physical inactivity post college. 100 hour weeks, Wall Street allure and regular pizza dinners were my focus despite a youth filled with sports and activity. My nickname was Jocko at my summer camp and I had been a few folks shy of making my college baseball team. Now though, at 23 even my usually reserved mother would make comments, “Putting on a few pounds are we?” when I was home visiting that Christmas.

So, my girlfriend at the time suggested we get out for a run. We were a few blocks from central park and the popular reservoir around 90th and so we set out and hit the 1.5 mile loop. She would inform me later, in a rare moment of candor, that before I had to stop and walk halfway through I kept pushing to stay one step ahead of her, some ego filled move, despite her ability to probably do 3-4 laps around the lake while I slowed to a walk about 7 minutes in.

We continued to run the loop and my pace got better, but I never looked forward to it and always was more focused on what we got to eat and drink when we were done, assuming I’d worked off enough calories that I could eat pretty much anything I wanted. That was Starting Jogging for me and now, having run marathons, cycled centuries and consider myself “experienced”, it’s easy to look back at those early lessons with fondness, but let’s be honest, it sucked.

Now, I’m back at the starting line again. With the year off I am compelled to make sure I use some of that time to start something new. Yes, there are things I’m going to do with my time that are developing skills I’ve already begun building, but given what I know about Starting, if I can’t convince myself to do it now, then I probably never will again. So, I’ve decided to focus on two areas of new, learning Spanish fully (I’m atrocious at languages) and becoming proficient on the drums. Full disclosure is that I have do have a base of Spanish having taken it in high school and spent a few months in Central America 13 years ago learning and traveling. Additionally, (although my wife would argue otherwise) I have a pretty good sense of beat and rhythm and am a fairly good dancer, which should give me a start on the drums, right?

What I have discovered since making the decision on these two pursuits is the lack of confidence I have that I’ll actually complete these journeys. I’ve overcome other skill gaps before, what’s different about these? I’ve been down this road before, you put in the work, you do the time, you don’t give up and glory and admiration await. Somehow this time it feels harder.

I wonder if it is age getting the best of me.

As I’ve moved into my 40s, to my shock, it somehow wasn’t obvious that when it came to physical activities and sports that I play, I wouldn’t be able to keep up with my younger self. Who knew that my 30-year-old self could run faster, recover better and limit injuries better than the same guy 10 years later. As this realization came upon me, I’ve been good about switching up my routines and activities. Sometimes you do need more sleep, stretching and a foam roller are good things, and I can’t do the same workout multiple days in a row. What this has also led to is a focus on maintaining my abilities for those pursuits that I’m good at rather than shift to new things. That in itself was a goal enough and something to keep me excited and pushing forward. Who has time for a new hobby when I can barely scratch by to keep up the things I already know I love?

No, age is an excuse. All of the things I’ve focused on have been in my comfort zone of physical activity. Sure, playing the drums requires physical coordination, but the achievement is mostly mental. Spanish, well I couldn’t do extra pushups to work through my limitations there.

Wait, but maybe I can.

Why should learning these skills be any different than physical activities I had learned or the hard fought endurance events I had conquered. I must have learned something from those hot tough half laps around the Jackie O Reservoir back in Manhattan. How do I make those lessons apply and what is my plan of attack for these new skills?

Train like you train for anything else

This is going to be critical as we set up our life in Buenos Aires. While I may not have 10,000 hours to devote, I can prioritize and schedule the time and stick to it. I can build it into my life as a requirement each day and week, which will be the only way I will have any hope of getting there.

Humility

I have to get used to the fact that I’m going to suck at this, for quite a while and that’s ok. No really, I’m not going to be good and it’s going to be a grind, for longer than I think. I am not going to see results for weeks, and that’s going to have to be ok, (Ok, I better see some results) but I’ve gotta set expectations low if this is going to work.

Actually train for something

The other thing I learned from those runs was that I need a goal and I need some competition. If I look back at my accomplishments in life, whether personal or professional, I’ve always had someone or something I was chasing. When I haven’t, I’m not motivated and I really don’t give a shit. What’s the point of achievement if it isn’t over someone else or a recognizable milestone? This is how I am, let’s just accept that and work with it.

So what will be my competition and my milestone for these two activities…

For Drums, maybe I can I find a band? Playing along side other musicians will challenge my ego. For my milestone, my friend Pete already through the gauntlet down, playing in next year’s Christmas party with a bunch of professional musicians. Check

For Spanish, I think competition will start with my wife. That’s easy, we’re nothing if not competitive with each other. But best opportunity is probably just everyday, not speaking in English to anyone. I’m still going to need some sort of milestone, or I could get lazy. Will need to figure that out. 

I think I can get there. I don’t have confidence that I will, but I have confidence in the process and that’s all I’ve ever had before in any endeavor. Of course, I’m writing this as I set out on the journey having not yet Started. You’ll notice the optimism and calculated plan of attack. We’ll see if it all falls apart.

Starting….