I’ve been to Bangkok before but my memories from this ‘town’ are much different than my experiences this time around.  Generally, we’ve managed to create a barrier of sorts that works hard on dividing us as tourists and the people who live here.  This was true in 2002 as well but yet, with few dollars to spend I had to eat street food, stay with friends of friends who actually lived here, take local transportation, and generally feel much more included than I do now.  It’s a constant battle between my kids’ comfort directly correlated to my sanity vs. truly experiencing this crazy city.  Or perhaps just an excuse.

I used to take the A1 bus when I landed at the Bangkok International that took me to the center of everything – now we have a fully air-conditioned mini-van with cold water and a nice man with our name waiting for us.  Feels extravagant but after 24+ hour trip, somehow excusable.  Unfortunately it doesn’t stop there; the theme of comfort continues throughout.  Half-day itineraries seem more appropriate for our crew of two families including six children (one of whom is only 18 months!) with afternoons spent splashing in the pool to take a respite from the heat and humidity.  But these private tour guides, nice restaurants, and hotels with pools remove us from the reality on the ground.  To be sure, there is a spectrum and we’re certainly not all the way to one end but we are far from the other end too.  I’m torn each time there is a decision to impart more local culture on the kids when it comes at the expense of comfort.   We stopped by at a local small restaurant filled with Thais eating lunch to have some food and while the kids didn’t necessarily complain, they didn’t eat much either.  This then translates to cranky children in the afternoon and well, do I want that?  We could have stayed at an Airbnb while in Bangkok but I knew that a pool in the afternoon would be nearly a ‘necessity’ for the kids.  Is it?  Perhaps I can justify this now as it’s our first stop for the year…maybe I want to ‘ease’ all of us into sleeping in different beds all year, but I’m inspired by families who dive right in and don’t give their kids a chance to complain. I wonder how we will progress as the year goes on – we don’t have the budget to continue down this path and truth be told, having done travel both ways, my memories are sharper and deeper when I let myself get lost in my new surroundings without all the luxuries.

I hope our kids can experience travel in that way too. To be sure, this seems like a ‘first world problem.’  They still get to see Bangkok, visit the Grand Palace, Temples and markets, and walk the streets in the heat with all the smells, noises, sights and sensory overload that it affords. While it is more challenging with them to do this on a budget, it’s certainly not impossible as I’ve seen other families do it.  It bothers me to spend 300 Thai Baht on lunch for all five of us followed by 2,300 Thai Baht for dinner the same day.  More importantly than the excessive cost though is the ability to ‘live like a local‘ (based on Airbnb’s vision)  which I believe allows for a deeper experience and greater adventure.  It is more likely to happen when you have more time, less money, and slowly become more open to authentically explore the world around not through pre-arranged tours but by letting yourself get lost.  Hopefully we can follow our own advice even with kids in tow.

On a final note, seeing this city many years later through our kids’ eyes is an incredible experience as a parent.  The curiosity, questions, and reactions are priceless. They notice things I glaze over and find silliness in the most benign of things while sometimes overlooking sights I find amazing. I get to know them better not only when they laugh but also when they test my patience.  Creating new memories in Bangkok as a family, regardless of how we explore the city, is still an incredible gift.