So here we are.  We have about two months left (and counting – really much less since I started writing this post) before we have to be back somewhere to ensure that our kids are able to start the new school year.  And so as the days past, we’ve been busy thinking about what this year means, reflecting on how or whether we’ve changed, and most importantly, trying to figure out what is next.  

In some ways, this means that somehow life has proved to be much busier than last fall, which seems unfortunate, but I suppose to be expected.  Even though we are deliberate about making the last few months here count, I feel the days and hours are slipping away as our minds shift to the future.  I’m sure by now you’re feeling sorry for me.

Our time is still mostly filled with cultivating hobbies, studying Spanish, and working out.  We’re enjoying time with friends and exploring new corners of Buenos Aires that we’ve not yet seen.  We moved to a new apartment which we love.  Kids are going to school, still not ‘loving it’ but enjoying new friends and experiences there (while feeling grateful for Sun Valley which they truly miss).  I’ve been traveling, including a couple trips back to the US and going back to Patagonia to hike the W with one of my closest friends.  We’ve also had lots of friends and family come visit, keeping things always moving.  And, as always, we’ve been taking small trips to keep learning – one to Salta (kids’ reaction here) and recently, back to Uruguay.

But regardless of how much fun we’re having, whether we like it or not, it does feel like this chapter in our lives is coming to an end.  When I compare to how I felt in October, the freedom to explore and do anything was much more powerful and its presence is much more fleeting today. 

This is driven by the fact that perhaps we’re not that good at making decisions or eliminating options, both on the career and location front (or at least I’m not – Rob is much better at this) which leads to endless discussions.  From a career perspective, we feel like we have entertained all options – from starting our own thing, to joining  multinational and well-established companies, to changing careers altogether to move to non-profits, to joining early stage-start ups and everything in between.  It’s been a slow and thoughtful exercise, one that I suppose never ends.  What’s new though is the criteria by which we are evaluating choices.  No longer driven purely by ambition, we’re much more thoughtful about the contribution that we can have to something bigger, and our ability to have an impact.  It’s a slight change in perspective, and I’m glad that we’ve had a chance to explore various options and angles without the pressure of being rushed to start something quickly.  As far as a location, we’ve narrowed it down to a few places, but have not made a final decision, forcing us to randomly bring up new cities all around the world to explore whether that should be our home, or if Bay Area is still the place.  

As these conversations have become more frequent, the mindshare has shifted somewhat from exploring new places in Buenos Aires to examining new cities via Google of where we want to settle post this year.  These conversations have a cost – one that limits our ability, ever so slightly, to live in the present.  We walk and talk around in circles drinking wine and wondering who we should become when we grow up.  Choices, while we’re lucky to have them, can be paralyzing, wasting time, words, and thoughts.  Many days it feels like it’s a constant battle between enjoying the present and thinking about the future.  Regardless of how much I anticipated this, it’s still challenging to control and I wish that we wouldn’t have to think about the future until, well, the future.

But here we are.  Soaking in each moment, attempting to balance how much time we spend on job sites vs enjoying the the days of being here.  My only consolation prize is that we’ve been deliberating these options for the last two months, not the last twelve.  At some point this phase too will pass as we get ready to travel this summer and explore Colombia, before finally coming home, wherever that may be.