It is a bit troublesome to think about the fact that a third of our time here is already behind us. Our adventure in BA has finished for now as school has ended and we’ve began our expedition through Uruguay and Patagonia in Chile and Argentina for the next 10+ weeks. We’ll return to BA in March, other than a short stop over for NYE.
It seems like a good time to step back to reflect on our experience so far and assess how we want the rest of the year to go. We’ve learned to become new versions of ourselves, we’ve adopted well and sometimes poorly, had some highs and lows, and above all, grew to to be incredibly grateful for this adventure. We have had so many laughs, tears, new conversations, foods, and friends, always feeling that we’re living life to the fullest.
Below are our top 10 of the most memorable lessons, adventures, joys and frustrations:
1. There is never enough time. Even when both adults are not working, we always wish for more. It’s a forever frustrating part of being a parent – a constant struggle to steal minutes for my own indulgence vs doing something for or being with the kids. Contrary to when we we’re working, we now have no au pair help so we’ve gained day time, but lost afternoons for ourselves. It’s surprising how little time there actually is during the day when you’re doing things you love.
2. But having this much time with kids is remarkable. From cooking together, to painting watercolors, to reading “Little Women” together, to having weekly “science day” to taking the time to teach poker strategies, and everything in between, the hours seem endless, joyful, and rewarding. It’s new and beautiful for us to have so much time as a family. To be sure, some of those times are less cheerful. We live in relatively small quarters – our apartment is about 1/3rd the size of our home in Marin which has created new challenges, and some would say blessings, as well. We are much closer and as parents we feel much more connected with the kids. It’s likely that we only have about five years left before the kids all grow up too fast and so we cherish the time today.
3. We have learned to adopt to life with so much less. It’s not that we’re living in a minimalist life-style, we still moved here with eight suitcases, but certainly our home doesn’t resemble anything close to our home in Marin. Sometimes it seems like life is slightly more challenging with less, but in the end it really seems to not matter. For example, I love to host and even though it’s a bit insane to do so in our tiny apartment, we’ve still managed to have several dinners with friends. I don’t miss the car(s), and cherish the chance to walk everywhere.
4. All that said, there are some things that we really, really miss. Garbage disposal, a properly working oven, dishwasher, a working washing machine, to name a few. Yes, many of these have side benefits like kids doing more chores, but still – it would be nice to stack my dishes in a dishwasher. We miss having easy access to the outdoors, particularly comparing to Marin where our playground included the ocean, beaches, rolling hills, Mt. Tam, and everything else in between. Although we live in a generally sleepy part of town (during the day) once we learned that huge and busy streets banked by high-rises were going to be tough to stomach, it still is much more of a concrete jungle. It’s funny, I used to crave living in a city after living in the suburbs for the last seven years but now that I’m here, it’s clear that really, I need green in my life. I miss the conveniences of delivery of food, groceries, shoes, and all things amazon which allowed me to not have to ever shop much, or step a foot in a store. And of course, we miss our friends and family. Though I have to say that with WhatsApp, Facetime, Skype and so on, I can still feel quite connected to everyone at home. It’s not the same, but so much better than it used to be. That said, the move has been particularly hard for Ella who really misses her friends from home and is the first to recognize that electronic connections can’t replace real ones.
5. Sometimes it’s hard to feel like we belong. When trying to blend into a new environment, for anyone it can be challenging to integrate into a new community, find new friends, and generally, feel like they belong. This feeling is exasperated by not speaking the language. Still, I feel we’ve done well in trying to assimilate, especially considering that we are not working and not being forced daily into new situations. The school has been instrumental in feeling like we’ve found some resemblance of a community – parent dinners, camping trips, b-day parties (for adults and kids!) and so on have helped us to feel like this could become our home. It’s also the smaller interactions that count – our Spanish teacher, the drum teacher, the hair dresser, and so on…all of these people have helped us feel more comfortable here.
With the school, kids have begun to make some friends and feel some sense of normalcy as their Spanish has improved, though some challenges remain. There are subjects where they can’t participate leading to boredom. They still wish that everyone spoke English and the school yard was bigger and greener. Still – they’ve learned to play with much less toys (bottle-flip with a plastic bottle has been a favorite game), are smiling often at the end of the day, and have gotten used to the new routine.
6. But we’ve made many friends and have met great people who make us feel welcomed. Speaking of, one of the highlights so far has been meeting so many people that are different from us. We have met both Argentines and ex-pats all with diverse stories, many very different from ours. From someone who works with indigenous people on textiles, to someone who started one of the most successful fashion brands in Argentina, to someone who is a band manager, to someone who manages logistics for the US Embassy, or is a UN translator, the array of people we’ve met has been nothing short of amazing. I am grateful for the conversations and the chance to learn something new every day – for example, how is it possible to be a vegan in Buenos Aires?
7. We have all tried to pick up new skills or at least think we have! Ella’s really enjoyed Taekwondo and has managed to get to 1/2 green belt in three months.
Kuba has started playing chess and got first place in his first tournament against other 1st and 2nd graders.
And Maya has become a star on trapeze, ascending ropes with ease of a someone who’s been doing it for years.
It’s been so much fun to watch for everyone to push boundaries. And for us? Rob has started to feel comfortable on the drums, I’m loving my camera, and we’re both learning Salsa together. To be sure, I’m certain that we’re not any good – but we don’t feel like we have to be. All the same we enjoy these activities and want to do more of them. In between, we sneak in writing and cooking classes sometimes dreaming of the ingredients we could get back in CA now that we’ve become masters after late night Gordon Ramsay masterclass binging.
It feels like we are stretching our minds in ways we’ve not done in years. This is particularly evident when studying Spanish or so often trying something new. It’s intoxicating, challenging, frustrating, inspiring, and super fun all at the same time. It’s not that we had become stagnant before, but trying to pick up new hobbies or skills this late in life, coupled with constant travel and exploring of new places and cultures, together with the challenge of learning a language can sometimes be tiring. In those moments I dream about just having the time to read the Times for hours on end, alone and uninterrupted. And then it’s time for our Salsa lesson and I get excited all over again.
8. Buenos Aires has provided a stunning blank canvas to paint our life into for a year. I have loved the culture, the dancing, the food, the museums and festivals, and the new friends it has afforded. It’s not perfect, and no place ever would be given everything we want. I wish it wasn’t as expensive. I sometimes wish that the city zoning laws were more stringent and old, beautiful facades were not being destroyed to build new modern store fronts. I wish we had easier access to parks, soccer fields and basketball courts. I sometimes, rarely, but sometimes wish it was just a little less crazy. But in the end, there is so much that I love about the city that its faults mostly seem minimal relative to the daily joys it brings.
It’s often the smaller things make me smile. I have been taking a kick-boxing class since I’ve been here and it’s so urban, loud, crazy, and something that was hard to find in Marin. I love all the dozens of ice cream flavors and the home-made empanadas. I love the markets full of anything and everything you would ever need. I love the smelly taxis that are usually hot and stuffy, but so affordable allowing us to explore the city with ease. I love the river and the sailing and the boating. I love the soccer games. I love opportunities to see new things like the Youth Olympics where the kids get to observe something they will not likely see again. I love the seductive tango street dancing and the cobblestone streets. And I love the way the city wakes up at night with bars, clubs, and restaurants right where we live allowing us to step back in time to when it was easy to go out whenever we felt like it. We’ve had the chance to dip our toes into the nightlife with some live music, ‘Norma’ at Teatro Colon, dancing, late night dinners, and exploring cafes and restaurants all over town. I feel more alive here.
9. We have been lucky to explore so much of Argentina and beyond already. While BA is fantastic, once we got settled, our eagerness to start exploring outside of BA has been rewarded with some fantastic long weekend trips. There are many highlights here and all have been different and unique in their own ways – from horse-back riding at the estancia, to skiing in Patagonia, to relaxing in Uruguay. The trip to Iguazu falls was more special as we got to go with our first visitors for the year – Rob’s mom and sister. Even weekend trip to Tigre proved to be slightly more adventures than we had anticipated with flooding in the Delta to keep us on our toes. We’re lucky to have had a chance to see so much and of course, are now on a path to explore much more during the next three months. Argentina has not disappointed and new discoveries like Colonia in Uruguay have been just as enjoyable.
10. Through it all though, I think that the biggest joy has been having the time to be more deliberate, introspective, and purposeful with our life decisions. There has been a lot of learning about ourselves, becoming more aware and more grateful for all that we have. Time spent thinking about what we want in life. In the kids there are signs of more resilience, eagerness to try something new, and gratitude. We are closer as a family and as a couple. And having the chance to spend so much time together, and alone, to think through how we want to spend the next phase of our life is exhilarating.
It’s been a good first five months. We’re now off to explore this part of the world with some sightseeing, adventures, and down time all built in. I don’t know when is the next time that Rob and I will both be in-between jobs and kids will have a full summer to take three months off together to travel. It may happen, particularly if we don’t go back to corporate jobs, but chances are low. So for now we’ll cherish every day on this trip to remind ourselves how incredibly fortunate we are to have this year.
Below are some pics from the first five months that we’ve not included before. If you hover over, some of them have some explanations (when needed or to keep in our memories). Most are quite boring but we’re saving for ourselves to look back on for years to come.
Building a Flying House 
Hi Ania I love your five-month summary – it sounds like such a rich experience – fun, growth, adventure, and new family bonding 🙂 I hope you continue to have more wonderful adventures! Hello to the rest of the family, and Happy New Year!! D’Arcy
On Thu, Jan 3, 2019 at 3:12 PM Building a Flying House wrote:
> Ania posted: “It is a bit troublesome to think about the fact that a third > of our time here is already behind us. Our adventure in BA has finished > for now as school has ended and we’ve began our expedition through Uruguay > and Patagonia in Chile and Argentina for the n” >
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Beautiful pictures!!! I’ve been enjoying all your posts and pictures. It is wonderful you are taking this time to explore new places and explore yourselves.
Looking forward to more.
Sending our love,
Sarah
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