We unpacked our bags, took a look around, and smiled.  It felt like we had finally arrived home after weeks and weeks of packing and unpacking, pushing our stuff through airports, taxis, ubers, boats, and bus stations, uncertain of our accommodations for the next evening.  It was great to recognize that we would’t have to pack our suitcases, but instead, we spend our time visiting our favorite hang outs, buy donuts, grab ice-cream, and eat dinner at our local Italian spot.  We knew our way around and recognized the shop-keepers downstairs, the laundry lady, and the neighbors.  It felt like home.

Which is strange to think about because Buenos Aires has only been our home for about five months.  When we arrived in July 2018, the concept of calling this place home seemed almost too difficult to imagine.  Loud and busy filled with busses and taxis and hundreds of people hurrying in all directions, the city screamed out differences to our peaceful life in Marin.  The contrasts were overwhelming at times, not always positive, constantly reminding us that we were somewhat crazy to do this to ourselves.

Yet, our brains seem to have an amazing mechanism built in to absorb and adopt, perpetually assessing new situations to learn and form new understanding of the world, while becoming more resilient in the process. Rather quickly what seems so foreign just a short time ago becomes the norm.  Challenges that appear insurmountable at first, slowly melt away to become part of our every-day life.  We get used to things, both good and bad, that seemed impossible to fathom when we first encountered them.

To be fair though, it can be hard to quickly adopt to new environments.  I think it’s a skill, and like with everything else in life, it can be learned by practice.  Sometimes you don’t have a choice, as with the thousands of refugees across the globe who are seeking better lives for themselves by leaving what they know and love most, their home.  And other times it’s a deliberate decision to continue to learn and grow.

I’ve been fortunate to experience both in my life.  At a very early age I was forced to adopt to a new life (and while people always say, ‘it’s so easy for kids’ – this is not always the case) when we moved to the US in the mid-eighties.  It was a cultural shock on many levels and there was no choice but to make this our new home, whether I wanted to or not.  Over time though, I came to realize that the experience taught me so many life-lessons that I was keen to focus on its positives and store the less pleasant memories deep in the corner of my brain I wouldn’t have to visit often.

And so as an adult, my search for change become more deliberate given my childhood experience.  Fortunately, I have a partner (Rob) who thinks the same way and we’ve been moving and adopting ever since, each time getting better at defining what home means.  At one point, in the summer of 2006 we decided to move to Kenya to help manage a cashew plant.  The place seemed insane for many reasons and yet, I clearly recall how few weeks in, it all felt normal and almost comfortable.  We continued moving multiple times throughout our relationship, each time feeling much more at ease than last in how quickly everything new and strange became ordinary and habitual.

Once we started a family, it was clear that we wanted our kids to experience and learn the same acceptance to change.  Although they definitely see Marin as their home, I recognize how critical it is to teach this ability to adopt and become resilient to whatever life throws at you.  While sometimes it can potentially bruise their fragile feelings and a sense of belonging, with strong family support, I will always believe that the positives of having to adopt to new environments far outweigh the negatives.

For me, all the change has made it difficult to define my home.  None of the places I’ve lived at seem to quite fit the standard definition.  I grew up in two countries, went to school in the midwest and east coast, and spent my adult life in seven major cities on three continents.   Consequently, I’ve changed the definition of home for me to mean my current place with the constant of the people I love the most in the world.  That is my home and will always remain, regardless of where life will take us.

And so on a second thought, I shouldn’t have been surprised how quickly Buenos Aires felt like ‘home’ when we returned.  We began our daily routines as school started, playing soccer, hanging out with friends, and exploring the city.  We added new skills that we want to learn while here (horse-back riding and watercolors, among others) continuing to push for more creativity in our lives and relish each moment of the adventure . And quickly, after a month back, it definitely feels like this is our home, for now.